Dating a broke man
Do you want him to make the offer in good faith, showing his good character, even though you won't take him up on it? Are you going to do the even WORSE thing and "Hint Around" for help?? And I've been receiving responses that are very insightful and thoughtful. Others are saying that THEY were the ones who helped HIM out when he was down and out. I give generously to the man in my life if I have the means and he has the need. I want unconditional love, with a man who is fully present and able to share all of himself. These are the kinds of men who use the excuse that you are not a wife so why should they take care of you.If I were a man, and a woman did that, I think I'd take off for good! This goes to the heart of how we perceive getting monetary help from someone we're romantically involved with yet not married to. I once bought a man I had been with for a year a new Mac Book Pro when he returned to college on his GI Bill. There's no reason to expect his behavior would change after the wedding. "Rachel" (not her real name) I am not officially divorced yet but have run into this. However he is intimate with you like a wife and he professes to love you like a wife. But the one who loves you will be happy you asked and eager to help out - just like you would for the man you love. Not working as help, but as a student and intern working around wealthy men who appear on CNBC, friends babysitting kids for a Morning Joe host and people who get quoted in the Wall Street Journal.Location matters, but those who are dating people way out of their income range and race (I did a few times with wealthy Japanese and Arab men) are the exception not the norm. You have to be integrated into the circle first, and most people don't have the opportunity so it usually doesn't happen even though it's not impossible.My theory is that in the beginning, most women don’t know the guy is a deadbeat loser.
If you hate your job, get laid with a nice severance check in hand!
Subject line: Urgent Hello Mimi, I love your mails and have been applying them in my relationship. If you're in a relationship, a man knows if you're out of work or not. The thing that goes through a woman's mind, no matter how independent she is, is this: "If he loves me, he will want to help me out during this time." But the problem is, many men - understandably and rightly - do not want to feel "put on the spot" to help out their girlfriend like this. And that's where things are different between girlfriend and wife! I have shown my girls how strong a single mom can be. When I find the right one, I will take him up on his offers, and hope he takes me up on mine. :) "Karen" (not her real name) Hi, I was wondering if it's the other way around, if he is the one having rough time to pay the bills and she has enough money to help him. Got this male friend who feels very frustrated because his girlfriend will not help him out, even though she inherited few millions of dollars from her aunt. And he would be less offended if you asked him for money, especially if he wasn't quite sure whether or not he should jump in and offer his help.
I want to ask if it's okay to ask my boyfriend for money? Bottom line: just because we have a guy in our lives, we should not ever expect him to help us out, and should not be upset with him if he doesn't. We dated for 2.5 years, and even throughout that time, I knew I wasn't going to marry him. We all know that sometimes men need to be told what you need from them.
But deep down, I knew we were not meant to be, so I said no. What if you ARE deeply in love and you know you want to be with this person for good? Women may feel that a man proves his love with his wallet. We loved each other fully, even though we knew we weren't lifetime mates. He reveals how I can expect to be loved in all parts of the relationship. I mean, that's what friends are for, much less a boyfriend.
I would not have felt good about taking this from a person I knew I was not going to stay with for good. Men may feel a woman proves her love by not expecting him to open the wallet. Should a man make the offer to show his good faith, hoping that you'll show your equally good character by refusing his offer? If he has stipulations and hoops I have to jump through, he will have those everywhere, and love me only conditionally. Unless all you are to him is a f--k buddy, then you shouldn't expect any help from him unless he offers it himself.